When the Kids Don’t Want to Play, and the Grandkids Aren’t Ready to Lead

For family business owners, it’s often left on the "we will get to it later" pile, quietly pushing it off and waiting until the moment arrives when the need for a successor becomes undeniable. But what happens when the next generation is not ready - or even interested - in stepping into the business and taking the reins, and the one after them is still too young to understand what a balance sheet is?

This dilemma is more common than you might think, and it is not just about finding the right heir. When the kids don’t want to take over, and the grandkids are too young, what’s an owner to do? Navigating the tricky terrain of generational transitions requires more than just a well-drafted plan - it requires deep insight into family dynamics, leadership development, and adaptability. Let alone understanding the actual business.

Let’s explore how to approach succession planning when the future is not as simple as just passing the torch.

"Succession planning is not a one-time event but a continuous process that requires foresight, flexibility, and the ability to evolve with the business and its people.”

Kids Don’t Want In

It is no secret that succession planning is difficult. Or, in other words, it's a headache. According to the Family Business Institute, over 70% of family-owned businesses do not survive the transition to the second generation, and nearly 90% fail to make it to the third. But it’s not always the “failures” that make the noise. Sometimes, it's simply that the next generation doesn't want the job.

Children of business owners often find themselves under an enormous amount of pressure. Stepping into their parents' shoes means inheriting not just the business but the weight of their legacy. For many, this can seem like an overwhelming challenge. The question is whether they have the passion, interest, and - equally important - the skill set to lead. And often, they don’t.

In fact, a recent study revealed that 58% of younger workers, particularly Gen Z and Millennials, prefer purpose over the security of running a family business. Instead of carrying the weight of legacy, they crave ‘freedom’ - freedom from the pressures, the never-ending “meet-the-expectations’ grind. The idea of stepping into their parents' shoes may not feel like an opportunity but rather a burden - especially in a world full of outside opportunities.

For many younger generations, the family business can feel less like an exciting opportunity and more like a heavy responsibility. While the values of tradition are important, the appeal of startups or global NGOs often resonates more with their aspirations. This shift in mindset is understandable - today’s leaders are managing an ever-changing world, and the path to leadership in a family business can sometimes feel bound by long-standing expectations and duties that may not align with their vision.

The Grandchildren Are Too Young – Or Too Far Off

Even if the next generation is not interested, hope often gets placed on the grandchildren. But here’s the catch – they are often too young or too far off to take over the business.

You can’t exactly pass the leadership baton to a teenager still figuring out social media trends. The same challenges apply to the next in line, who may be decades away from being ready to take over the family enterprise. And for business owners who have spent years building something from the ground up, waiting for the next generation to mature can feel like an exercise in patience - perhaps even a waste of time.

While long-term thinking is vital to effective succession, it’s also risky to rely too heavily on a future that may never arrive. The interests of the younger generation may not align with the business at all, and by the time they are ready and may be interested, the company’s needs might have shifted in ways no one predicted.

The Alternative Route? External Leadership

When family members aren’t ready - or willing - to take over, it may be time to open the door to external candidates. This is where professionalising the business and hiring from outside the family can work wonders. External hires bring fresh perspectives, longtime professional experience, specialised skills, and a new way of thinking that can propel a company forward.

Rather than holding on to the idea of a bloodline successor, more and more family businesses are looking beyond the family tree for leadership. In fact, a growing number of businesses are bringing in seasoned executives with leadership experience to take on top roles. This isn’t about replacing the family - but augmenting the leadership with expertise that can accelerate the company’s success and long-term sustainability.

External leadership can inject fresh thinking into an organisation, bridging the succession gap and ensuring business continuity. Bringing in a new CEO or senior executive can also reduce the emotional friction that often arises when family members are in competition for a role they may not be suited for. But finding the right leader means looking beyond technical expertise - someone who can intuitively grasp the family’s core values and navigate its unique culture with sensitivity and care.

For a family business to thrive with external leadership, the key is integration. A skilled external hire can drive the business forward, but only if they can smoothly blend into the family dynamic without disrupting the company’s foundation.

Sometimes the simplest changes in rewiring one's thinking make the biggest impact.

Mentorship and Leadership Development for the Next Generation

If the next generation is not quite ready to step up, don’t despair. There are other avenues to explore - namely, grooming and mentoring. Developing the younger generation through leadership programs, mentorship, and hands-on experience can help bridge the gap and prepare them for the day they are ready to lead.

Business owners should consider structuring development programs for their children or grandchildren, even if they are still young. Starting early, long before the position of CEO is even on the horizon, helps instil a sense of responsibility, leadership, and business acumen. In addition, some family businesses create advisory boards composed of both family and non-family members to offer guidance to the younger generation.

The idea is simple: give them a running start.

Succession planning is never an overnight task but a mid to long-term process that requires patience, foresight, and a willingness to adapt. Involving the younger generation in decision-making early on while allowing them to explore their own interests can lay the groundwork for a smooth transition later. And a bit of ‘playfulness’ and experimenting with explorations outside of the family business can do wonders.

A Thoughtful Transition and How to Balance Tradition with Innovation

For the owner, succession planning need not be a stress-inducing process. It is an opportunity to ensure the legacy of your family business continues for generations, whether through the next generation or with the help of an external hire. Successful transitions hinge on having a clear plan that anticipates potential obstacles, such as uninterested children or grandchildren who are too young.

As family business owners, it’s for sure critical to strike a balance between preserving family traditions and embracing innovation. If your children don’t want to take the business forward, that’s okay. If the grandchildren are too young, that’s okay, too. There’s always a path forward with a thoughtful approach and a flexible strategy.

Whether you choose to bring in an external leader, invest in leadership development, or integrate both strategies, the key is to think ahead. Waiting for the "perfect heir" rarely works out. Instead, it’s about preparation, flexibility, and an open-minded approach to the future.

Conclusion! Plan Early, Think Beyond the Family

No one wants to be caught off guard by succession issues. But in the end, the business will continue to thrive only if the right leader is holding the steering wheel - whether that leader comes from within the family or from outside.

Succession planning doesn’t have to be overwhelming. The next generation may not always have all the tools at the outset, but with the right approach, you can ensure your business is in capable hands for years to come.

Navigating the crossroads between family and business is no small feat. If you are ready to explore how thoughtful succession planning can secure the future of both your family and business, contact us for a confidential consultation. Together, we will craft a talent strategy that not only protects your legacy but drives it forward.

With decades of experience, Cecile Hofer, Founder and Global Managing Partner of Selion Global has been advising family business owners on critical roles, leadership transitions, and succession planning. Let us help you navigate these challenges and ensure your family business thrives for generations to come.

by Cecile Hofer, Co-Founder and Global Managing Partner of Selion Global.